Karlie Makes Mistake Soup. Week 1.

            I have been vigorously hunting flies for the past week. Everywhere. The bathroom. At the piano. In bed. In my car. Everywhere. Slaying has climbed its way to the top of my priority list when I find myself with free time; above instant Netflix, (have to wait for Season 2 of “Orange is the New Black” anyway,) above re-alphabetizing my books within stupid categories that only make sense to me, and above seeing what else I can layer into the new found love of my life, hummus sandwiches.

            There are so many flies in my classroom that on the first full day of school I walked in and found a brown toad the size of a softball sitting in the middle of my linoleum floor. I considered allowing him to live in the music room and take care of the buzzing balls, but eighteen variations of a scene where a student spots the toad played through my mind and I realized that I would never, ever teach any music if it was coexisting in my room. Lucky for me the janitor has made my transition into this school smoother than a toadstool top and he came in to usher the toad out the door.

            I think fly hunting has become an emotional release for me. I have taught seven days of preKindergarten through Eighth grade general music and chorus.  I have made over two hundred mistakes in those seven days. As I reread that sentence shame slides over my eyeballs like a brand new lid…but I have to then recount how I’ve noted those mistakes and made a solid effort to immediately correct my errors in the following class.

           

     I love lists. Here’s the first one of this blog. Former teachers and professors, current mentors, and friends please feel free to roll your eyes, face palm, scoff, revoke your letters of recommendation… whatever you need to do after reading this list.

Pitiful Mistakes Karlie Made In Her First Week

• Projected the lyrics to “Somos El Barco” on the board in the 1^st and 2^nd grade chorus and expected them to read it through with me after limited rote teaching. And as I’m sure you all realize, most of those 7 and 8 year olds were not ready to be reading in Spanish. Shocker.

• In an attempt to break up my lesson and get my Kindergartners up and moving around I said, “Okay, everyone move to a new mat!” This resulted in a brawl over a particular mat. Pulled hair, screaming, “YOU ARE A MEANIE,” and slapping. Nice work, Ms. Kauffeld.

• I handed thirteen 3^rd and 4^th graders each a small percussion instrument before giving the instruction, “When I hand this to you please place it on the floor in front of you.” It then took 5 full minutes to give that direction due to the jingle-jangling, booming, smacking, and thumping.

• I sat 1^st and 2^nd graders around a rug with a border of fringy–tassels. They could not keep their tiny hands off those tassels if their lives depended on it. Good bye rug.

• I allowed one Kindergartner to go get a drink. Suddenly we were all suffering from dehydration and simply couldn’t carry on without getting water.

• I placed paper name cards on the chairs of 5^th graders without instructing them not to ruin them. At the end of class I received a pile of paper shreds, undistinguishable origami, and cards with bite marks. Silly me for thinking once we were ten years old we stopped eating paper.

Now, I say all of these things with a bounty of love in my heart for my students. Every bizarre thing that occurred was in direct relation to the poor instruction I gave. Cause and effect.

The most important thing I can say about my first 7 days is that these kids, from age 3 to 14, are teaching me more than I’ve learned in my whole life.